


unedited

by Anonymous



Category: SCP Foundation
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:53:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26766082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: a rare moment of self awareness in iceberg.
Relationships: Dr. Gears/Dr. Iceberg (SCP Foundation)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61
Collections: Anonymous





	unedited

**Author's Note:**

> the title wasnt me being edgy it was a warning. heres some more unedited trash i wrote that im too embarrassed to post on my main account lol

All Iceberg could think about during the containment breach of SCP-882 was the fact that, oh shit, he kinda maybe forced a relationship on Dr. Gears and should kinda maybe be charged for sexual harassment.

It was hard enough to recontain SCP-882 but the thought still plagued his mind like a memetic. He felt extremely guilty and embarrassed, not only for only _now_ realizing he may have coerced Dr. Gears into a relationship but for focusing on something else while there was a containment breach happening, but Dr. Bright had done worse during a containment breach so it should be fine.

He couldn't focus on his work, feeling a weird mix of guilt, shame, and exhaustion from the murky feeling of slime in his gut. He excused himself for the day, much to Gear's disapproval, but nothing could stop him from getting out of there as soon as possible, promotion be darned.

He didn't _mean_ to possibly coerce Gears. It's just... he's not a very expressive guy. So when he bought the rose for Gears and he accepted, he thought he had accepted his affections. Every time he brought a gift he would accept it, so he thought he continued accepting his affections. And he kissed him, but he didn't react, he thought he just wasn't big on intimacy. And when he asked to move in because it's closer and "cheapens gas costs from my paycheck" thinking he was smooth when Gears accepted, and then spread his stuff all over the apartment in less than a day even though Gears was silent and clearly uncomfortable about it.

_Think about it, dummy!_ Iceberg thought to himself. _He never smiles at the gifts or mentions them, never initiates contact or displays, and only accepted my proposal to help me. In fact, I never even asked him out._

That realization fell like a stone in his stomach. It hurts to think that the person he loved for 6 months didn't actually return his affections but he feels worse knowing he practically forced Gears into a situation he didn't want.

_ Oh shit, I screwed up real bad. Holy shit. How am I so oblivious? Maybe the foundation has a point to putting egotistical in my description. _

He makes his way back to their apartment on foot, wanting to leave the car so Gears can drive home and to clear his mind. He needed to get this sorted out before it could affect his work at the Foundation, and that would be disastrous. Talking to Gears would be the best approach.

The apartment never felt so empty when he opened the door. He sits on a couch for a few minutes and browses through the TV catalog before his habits kick in and he goes back to work. 

He's jittery, binging on chocolate and writing more paperwork, waiting for Gears to come home. It hits 10PM, the time when Gears usually heads home, and Iceberg tries to calm himself to keep up a veil of normalcy. He's got 20 scripts on what to say to Gears and when to say it but he can't choose which one he should say and more keep popping up in his head and--

Click.

Iceberg immediately goes back to paperwork, all ideas in his mind replaced with a spike of adrenaline. He gives his best poker face as Gears opens the door.

And heads straight to his office to finish more work.

Something twists in Iceberg's heart. _Well, the good thing with Gears is that he doesn't ask questions, so I can talk at my own pace._

Something about that rings hollow.

For the next 2 hours or so he thinks of what to say to Gears, and just when he got out of his seat to head to Gears's office, Gears left his office and headed straight for the bedroom, mechanically sliding his feet out of his shoes and falling asleep.

Iceberg pauses for a few minutes. He creeps over to Gears and stops a few steps away from him. It seems Gears really is asleep. He lets out a sigh and decides to head to bed too.

"Good night." Iceberg mutters.

Gears didn't even look at him once.

***

"Hey, uhh, Gears."

Gears made a noise of affirmation.

Silence in the car for a few seconds, then minutes. Iceberg can't get the words out for some reason.

"If this is about what happened yesterday, may I suggest you never do that again."

"Oh... yeah."

He shuts off the car. "We're here. Let's not talk about such matters at work."

"... Yeah."

***

The next day, he put a normal, plain, unsuggesting box of chocolates on Gears's desk. He quickly nodded at the gesture and went back to typing.

"Hey, so listen, Gears..."

"Yes?"

Something robotic in his tone shatters his entire confidence.

"Nothing. Never mind."

  
  


***

  
  


It was a common occurrence, but Gears was skipping through dinner to finish more work. Iceberg decided it was the perfect time to talk about it. He cooked dinner for the two of them for the first time since college and tapped Gears on the shoulder to tell him to eat, he's made something good.

"After I finish this proposal."

"You're never gonna be done."

Gears made a dismissive noise and went back to work.

So Iceberg waited. Fidgeted around, swiped through his phone. Minutes turned into hours, and the food got cold pretty quick. He put both plates in the mostly unused fridge before they could get bad, and went to check on Gears.

He was asleep. 

A cold feeling passed through him.

_He really doesn't love me, does he?_ All hopes he had about his relationship were gone.

He spends the whole night writing up paperwork to try to numb the pain. 

***

"Dr. Gears."

"Yes?"

"Your assistant, Dr. Iceberg, has requested a transfer."

"I see."

"Do you know why?"

"No, but if he wants to transfer I will respect his desire to do so. He has tried to many times in the past."

"He cited 'Problems with Attending Supervisor' and didn't write a more detailed description."

"..."

"Everybody but you knows Iceberg has been acting weird lately. My advice? Fix it."

***

He packed up his stuff before Gears can get back from work and curses on all the shit he has there. Pictures, chocolates, clothes, books, his gaming consoles, all those notebooks, he didn't realize how much stuff he actually has over at Gears's. In comparison with Gears's stuff, it looks like _he_ owns the apartment. 

He wondered if he should bring the plant he bought for Gears and out of spite, takes it along.

Iceberg was trying to balance the plant on the boxes of stuff he's carrying and he heard a noticeable click to see Gears already at the door.

2 hours too early.

_ Why isn't he doing overtime? _

Gears quickly surveyed the apartment and set his gaze on Iceberg.

"You are moving out. Do you wish to break up with me?"

"What?"

"If you wish to break up with me then there is no reason to want to transfer. It would not affect our work life."

_It would not affect our work life._

**It would not affect our work life.**

_That's how little he cares about you. You've been so emotionally invested in this relationship and he doesn't care about you._

Iceberg couldn't help it, already feeling the tears in the corner of his eyes. He stopped breathing, trying to swallow down his sobbing. He opened his mouth to try to say something snarky or satirical or nonchalant but the pain is so palpable that he has to leave _right now_.

But the plant fell over on the floor and Iceberg dropped all the boxes and he tried to put the dirt back in the pot but he couldn’t see very well and he got up to see a box fell over to spill all the chocolate from the chocolate boxes and he needed to breath but can't or else he'll cry –

Gears came closer to him and held him by the shoulder, pushing him down to a sitting position on the floor. Iceberg finally let out a sob as he took a deep breath in and Gears took a box of chocolates and fed him the ones left in the box. Iceberg rubbed his eyes to get rid of the ice on his face and shakingly opened his mouth to accept the chocolates. After a few minutes, he calmed down enough to feel embarrassed by his situation.

He wiped away the last of his tears and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for being so... anyway. I'm not transferring because of this, I just wanted to expand my horizons to finally get that promotion. Not that they'll give it to me anyway." He barked out a cold laugh.

Gears held a chocolate in his hand and set it back down into the box when he realized Iceberg had calmed down. "Samantha from Human Resources told me you cited 'Problem with Attending Supervisor' under 'Reason for Transfer.'"

Iceberg visibly tensed. "That's illegal."

"We work at The Foundation."

Iceberg let out a small laugh. "Fair enough."

A small silence passed through and neither knew what to say.

"Julian..." Iceberg whipped his head at Gears, who was looking at him with an almost soft look in his eyes, "What's wrong?"

Iceberg looked away. He still felt the words choke in his throat but Gears gave him enough time to process and let it out.

"I just feel like... I made you get into this relationship with me. Whatever this was. I gave you a bunch of gifts and thought you accepting them meant you accepted me, and when I kissed you and you didn't react I thought you just didn't like intimacy, and I practically forced myself into your apartment. I never considered I was intruding. And it's just..." Iceberg made himself look Gears in the eye, "You don't care about me, do you?"

Gears remained silent, which only promoted Iceberg to ramble on, "You never ask how I am or talk about anything besides work. And that's all you do: work! I even made you dinner yesterday and you just didn't care I guess. You didn't eat for the entire day yesterday, I was worried. But you never worry for me, just brush our relationship aside like it doesn't matter." He let out a harsh laugh. "I guess it doesn't to you, does it? Just, God, look at me, I'm crying over this stupid make believe relationship I made for myself and thinking it's unfair you only care about our work life. Gerald's gonna die laughing at this. Maybe if I transfer you'll actually get an assistant who doesn't bamboozle you with harassment. Or one that likes paperwork or overtime or --"

He cut him off with a kiss, a full one on the lips, that lasted a few seconds. It was inexperienced and weird, and Iceberg was too surprised to react to it.

Gears looked Iceberg straight in the eyes. "I offered you to live with me because I enjoy your company, regardless of whether we're in a romantic relationship or not. I'm sorry for not asking about how you are and working overtime, I will cut back and spend more time with you if it will make you happy. When you walked out that day, I had to clear all of your security very quickly and took your day off on my own shoulders. I thought you needed space or were overworked so I left you alone. I didn't mean to ignore your dinner, I was trying to finish the paperwork you left when you walked out. And I don't engage in intimacy because you're too cold."

Iceberg took a few minutes to comprehend those words. Now he couldn’t stop the tears, and Gears methodically wiped off Iceberg’s tears with a hint of gentleness to them.

Iceberg hugged him, icy tears freezing once they absorbed into his lab coat. “You’re gonna have to deal with it.”

Gears hummed a small tone of agreement. They stayed like that for a while, just basking in relief and each other’s company. Gears pulled Iceberg against him and leaned against the wall, periodically feeding Iceberg chocolate truffles as he purred in content.

It took a lot of work, and even years later Gears still messes up periodically, but Iceberg knows now that Gears loves him, and that was good enough.


End file.
